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Nov. 14th, 2009 @ 02:39 am Sooooo...
In my drunken dream I was a head in Deathland and I want to write a story about someone who is a head in Deathland.

I started writing it today. What do you think?

Yeah )


Being Dead at MySpaceFileHosting.comBeing_Dead.wma
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humph
Nov. 12th, 2009 @ 11:25 pm I would like a bite of your biscuit
Because I would. I would like a bite of your biscuit.

I'm slightly drunk. And I use the word slightly quite wrongly.

I need your help. I need a viable subject for a children's book. I've tried a young girl with flowers, but that didn't work very well as a gay metaphor. I need something I can work with and send in and get money for that will work as a metaphor for tolerance and acceptance. I'm rubbish at that. But I need a job. Or a means of supporting myself, at least. The goodwill of strangers will soon run out I fear.

I almost choked to death on a drunken sneeze.

Help me, I beg of you. Royalties are no problem.

Vodka is evil.
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i would like a bite of your biscuit
Nov. 5th, 2009 @ 02:00 am Yah
Tags: ,
So I cleaned the kitchen floor today with oodles of bleach and I'm thinking I maybe should have used a mask or something. And gloves. I've got tight shiny grandma skin hands and due to a tremendous coughing fit earlier I sound like Johnny Cash. The upside of which is, of course, singing Boy Named Sue in the shower, the downside of which, there's no bathroom floor or door. So not only might I fall under the house to my death, but anyone can walk by and see it.
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geeks rule the world
Nov. 2nd, 2009 @ 05:51 pm (no subject)
OK, so, four months ago, just about, I was woken up in the wee hours of the morning by my sister, who was calling from the hospital to tell me she was having a baby no one knew she was pregnant with.

She had the baby, and one of the nurses there who had been trying to get pregnant for fifteen years took her home that day and later adopted her. We thought it was going to be a closed adoption, because the nurse, Valerie, and her husband Cesar, who's a cop, had gone through so much trouble with failed adoptions in the past that they were terrified Sister would change her mind and steal the baby (Julia Rose) back. But she didn't, and they've been round to visit a few times and they're very nice people and we've got pictures now and OH MY GOD SHE'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE GUYS. LOOK.


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kisses (james)
Oct. 12th, 2009 @ 03:02 pm Voice Post
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but I shoot with this hand
Oct. 10th, 2009 @ 02:04 am fail
Tags: ,
I was ambitious but rubbish.

I was gonna pick Amy up from CUSB today, and I thought 'Right, I'll be there in four hours. Half an hour to find fast food and wait for Amy to finish packing 'cause she's a lazy layabout and then four more to get back. And of course I set off in the wrong direction for about 45 minutes. I finally turned the satnav on once I realized the map of California in my mind is sort of upside down.

In my brain, California has sort of been plucked up off the map and then glued back on to the rest of the states upside down. And half of me knows, *knows* that Sacramento is up and LA is down. I've been to both, I know which way I had to travel to get there. It's just the other half, the dominant half, is sorta iffy on the whole thing.

I mean, I can orient myself fine. I can drive around in circles in the mountains and then face a tree and know that if I was facing that same direction in my house that the front door would be to my right. But if you ask me to name that direction I have to line up facing South, shake my head a bit, do a 180 and rattle off Never Eat Soggy Waffles in my mind. It's ridiculous.
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but I shoot with this hand
Sep. 21st, 2009 @ 05:54 am Yeauch
Current Mood: ew
So my sister had this "spider bite" on the inside of her thigh, and she moaned and bitched all day the day before yesterday. This is all very normal, except for usually, they're just pimples or something in odd places that she squeezed too hard or whatever and tried to pass off as something else. Then yesterday she stopped moaning and sequestered herself in her room. And yesterday afternoon I spied her hobbling back from the bathroom with a silver-dollar sized browny-blackish spot on her leg. We tried to tell her to go to the clinic, she didn't. At about 9 she basically poked her head into the emergency room at the hospital around the corner, saw a girl having a siezure and another coughing up lung butter into a washcloth, and decided to come back home.

At 3 in the morning she texted me to ask if I'm awake. Of course I was, I have the loudest text tone imaginable and she knows this. She made me take her to the hospital where, after two hour's wait the tiny little hobbit doctor informed her it's staph. Ew.


Anyway. He cut it open and drained it and that was disgusting but strangely compelling, and she screamed a little and actually bit my hand. And then he packed it with this little white ribbon thing and she bit me again. It was quite gross.


If I get staff I shall never forgive her.



It is now 6:06 in the morning and I have to get up for work in 4 minutes. Hoofuckingray.
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jemsem is displeased
Aug. 11th, 2009 @ 06:37 pm Someone had a birfday partay
This was the funnest party ever. How come mine wasn't this cool?

Anyway. Casey is darker than my Mexican boyfriend. I found this funny.

pictures )
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but I shoot with this hand
Jul. 27th, 2009 @ 10:31 pm Big Bang 2009
Current Mood: anxious
My author was [info]delanach and her story was Far Away. It is drizzled in awesomesauce and spectacularity; I suggest you read it like now.

I drew three things; two scenes and one of Sammy's Dean sketches. They're pretty worksafe, nothing over a pg-13 I'd say. None are uber spoilery, but you may want to read the story first. Yeah. Story first would prolly be good. You can find the artses behind the cut )

They're all pencil sketches in my notebook, the first two were scanned and colored in using freeware. So. Yah. There ya go. Hope you likey. =)
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but I shoot with this hand
Jul. 16th, 2009 @ 12:08 am (no subject)
Tags:
I wrote a pome. An ode to summer mornings. It is a very heartfelt pome. With deep, deep meaning. And knee sweat:



It's a dreadful summer morning
Not a gasping, sickly breeze
I cannot feel a single thing
But the sweat behind my knees

'Cause it's heatstroke or wear shorts
And my fat legs, they stick together
And I don't mean to sound coarse
But I hate this goddamned awful shitting fucking summer weather.
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put it out
Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 03:39 am (no subject)
Javi picked me up tonight at like 1, and we did nothing but sit on a couch and lament about the good ole Sega days while his hilariously foul mouthed friend Matt killed people on Call of Duty. He likes Tails way better than Sonic too. Anyway. We were very cosy on said couch and it was nice, and then it was 3:30 all of a sudden and he took me home and we were sitting in the car, and that's way awkward for hugging, ya know? And I was sitting there being supremely uncomfortable since I should have been opening the door and leaving and then we laughed awkwardly at the awkwardness and he held out his hand and I though "Okay, backslide from couch snuggles to hand shaking. Quite sad, Steph. A little fail." and then he kissed my hand! and I may have squeeked, 'cause he's such a dork. And then he kissed me goodbye but like a totally safe non-tongue church kiss. And then I like floated up the steps and didn't even run into anything as I tried to take my bra off on my way to my room and he just texted to make sure I didn't hurt myself taking my bra off on the way to my room and I feel happy.

He's not an old pervy guy! We've seen each other a few times and there's been no sex or marriage proposals! Only helping me not fall on my face at the karaoke bar! This is so weird! I love it!

Also, it's ass o'clock in the morning and I must be at the prison at 6. Yay hooray for hand-kissage and no sleep and a shitty shift key.


Oh and he had a weird hat and he put it on me and I wore it 'til we had a neck popping contest that I won and that made foul-mouthed Matt gag while he watched some Japanese guy sizzle a cigar out on the face of one of his fellow onscreen soldiers. The hat fell off then and he set it on his lap and leaned his head against mine and he has really thick curly brown hair and I love it.
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MY KINK IS BETTER THAN YOURS
Jul. 3rd, 2009 @ 09:32 pm 01000110010101010100001101001011
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humph
Jun. 23rd, 2009 @ 02:03 am whut
God I'm fat.

Anyway. My hair is soft today. Me likey.

I gardened barefoot today and stepped on a snail. It popped, I gagged, all was not swell in the kingdom of me. I also found a steak knife beneath the bougainvillea (who the fuck came up with that name, by the way?) and a weed growing out of a redbull can. I should maybe garden more often. Found a length of wire which I stripped and made into a bracelet. It was copper. Kinda cool. I felt very recycley.

Learned how to play prison pinochle day before yesterday. They use two decks and take out the nines. Very exciting.

... that is all
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but I shoot with this hand
Jun. 22nd, 2009 @ 12:08 am Yayayayayayaaaaaaaaay!
I'm finished with the bigbang artses. Hoooooray.

Also, I had a dream that Sam was Dean's date to prom, and when he went to Bobby's house to pick him up, Bobby answered the door and was all "Sorry son, Dean was out drinkin' last night and today he's got the bubble guts somethin' fierce."

And Sam thought Dean just didn't want to see him, so he burst in, only to find Dean on the toilet with the liquor shits.

Bobby popped up through the bathroom window and said consolingly, "I never mess around with the fast poops, boy. Come back tomorrow, he'll be okay by then."

And Sam was devastated, 'cause the corsage he'd brought was already wilting.
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rosey is a delightful hostess
Jun. 12th, 2009 @ 11:52 pm ew
I fell asleep watching House and had a creepy dream that Zachariah and Castiel had a magical angel ass baby and it grew up to be Jeff Goldblum.

Is that okay?
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but I shoot with this hand
Jun. 9th, 2009 @ 09:02 pm lalalalalalalala
Tags:
charmed life
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put it out
May. 9th, 2009 @ 12:29 am MAN FROM UNCLE
Tags: ,

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but I shoot with this hand
Apr. 11th, 2009 @ 08:02 pm A Formidable Marinade,
Tags:
by Mikelangelo And The Black Sea Gentlemen :

I have seen you in the Turkish baths
I didn't know whether to cry or laugh
Nakedness has a sweet, sweet smell
Which sends me down to the pits of hell
The steam, that rises form the water
Tells me you're satan's daughter
If I am the devil's son
Then into the darkness we should run

If sodomy is not just for animals
Human flesh, is not just for cannibals
I'll feast on your body if you'll feast on mine
'Cause blood is thicker, and redder than wine
Oh, lay ourselves out, upon the table
Ravish each other 'till we're no longer able
When juices mix in the heat of the fray
It'll make a formidable marinade

If I put my hand in Pandora's box
And I was smitten by a deathly pox
If I was a leper or the warts on a toe
Would you think well of me, when I go
If I wrote my name with a razorblade
In the palm of your hand, would it still fade?
If I kissed your lips would you think it wrong
Or would you come along with me

If sodomy is not just for animals
Human flesh, is not just for cannibals
I'll feast on your body if you'll feast on mine
'Cause blood is thicker, and redder than wine
Oh, lay ourselves out, upon the table
Ravish each other 'till we're no longer able
When juices mix in the heat of the fray
It'll make a formidable marinade


I'll roast you on the spit like a fatted calf
When you're done I'll split your body in half
Climb into your redenned core
Curl up tight, and close the door
In your body I'll dream of things
Like geese and mustard
Cabbages and kings
Thermos full of chocolate sauce
And men who live on only remorse

If sodomy is not just for animals
Human flesh, is not just for cannibals
I'll feast on your body if you'll feast on mine
'Cause blood is thicker, and redder than wine
Oh, lay ourselves out, upon the table
Ravish each other 'till we're no longer able
When juices mix in the heat of the fray
It'll make a formidable marinade
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but I shoot with this hand
Mar. 10th, 2009 @ 12:09 am drunk
off my ass. Jose Cuervo you're a dick and my head's going to hurt tomorrow..
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but I shoot with this hand
Feb. 4th, 2009 @ 03:15 pm picspam
my backyard is a very strange place )
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but I shoot with this hand

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